Archive for November 2013

Always

You are never going to know or understand someone completely.  Your parents, spouse, best friend... and the same applies to God.  To put them in a box of what you think they are is a high form of disrespect.

So keep seeking, keep loving, and keep being surprised.

Row, row, row my boat...


Seriously, there is some sort of magical memo that I'm missing.  EVERYONE'S dating.  What. Is. This??

Small Story #2 - Seulement Toi

 

“La vie nous a enseigné que l’amour ne consiste pas en regardant à l’un l’autre mais en regardant à l’extérieur ensemble en même direction.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The entire Eiffel Tower sparkled with a million little lights, casting the crowd of admiring faces below in its glow.  Enthusiastic tourists ooh-ed and ahh-ed and took videos of the most popular attraction in Paris, but one pair remained silent to try and admire it at its fullest.  Leaning back on the cool grass, the young man glanced sideways at his pretty companion whose expression was quietly dreamy as she stared upwards at the spectacle.  The man tried to be a good sport and pretended to be enthralled as well, even as this show continued for minutes on end without variation.  Perhaps there was something off about his capacity for cultural appreciation, but he simply wasn't that impressed.

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Not a lover, not a fighter

Perhaps this is one of my biggest character flaws, but I've never had a whole lot of stamina when it comes to maintaining relationships.  For the most part, my friendships have been seasonal (which is normal in itself, since high school depth is nothing compared to college depth, I guess), and I'm okay with letting people go.  You can't make people stay if they don't want to, after all, but what's the right degree to show people you'd like them to stay regardless?  How much reciprocation is it necessary to expect?  Especially if you've been doing all the work for awhile, how do you know if someone's just tired of you for good?

I mean, I had another dream about getting jilted at the altar again.  It's pretty much a recurring theme of being replaced.

We've all changed, and I wouldn't have ever expected for us to have stayed the same, but I wonder if it's always going to be like this for me.  To never have a big group to fall back on, to simply hang out with without feeling like it's asking for a big favor, to go more than surface level and grow together even as we change.  To always be dispensable and as easy to let go as I allow myself to be.  Being alone is good, but it doesn't always feel right.