I don't want to think that this is my thirteen-year-old self gravitating towards the shiniest, most brilliant thing in the room.  But the thing is, he's always been the star for as long as I can remember.  From this distance, all I've seen was what I imagined to be there.

At this point in my life, I know that you can't make someone fall in love with you if they already haven't.  I know that there's no faking the look in someone's eyes in the first five seconds.  I know where I stand, and in this case I have, and never have had, a place.  I don't know what's wrong with me.

I want to believe that there's someone that will somehow find his way into my life and fight to stay, but I just don't see it happening.  All I have are the stories in my head.