Today, I wanted to ask him how he's been.  Just today.

I'm not going to of course, because I've learned my lesson one too many times.

Honestly there's no giving up on the people you care about, even if it's just your heart doing the fighting.  In time I might learn to not care about him anymore, but at this moment, I still do.  I don't believe that I shouldn't, necessarily, despite everything that happened.  And I've let him go for the most part.  I know it was not love - not the type of true, God-breathed, God-fed love that I've come to realize is the only love worth having.  But I still care.

So whoever you are/will be, I hope that you'll forgive me for loving someone before you.  But please know that I wouldn't be able to love you as much as I will without first knowing what love wasn't.  I hope that you're being as patient as I am and not taking less than you deserve.  I hope that you are still learning, as I am, to love better and better.